Monthly Archives: November 2012

What are you thankful for?

It always seems to me that thanksgiving tends to be a glossed over holiday. Now I don’t mean that it’s not a big deal, it is totally a big deal but it tends to become transformed into the day of the almighty turkey instead of what’ it’s supposed to be.


Thanks giving.

It seems like a lot of people have forgotten how to do that, and it makes me sad to say that especially a lot of folks in my age group it seems. Even when dealing with people day to day, a lot of folks seem almost bewildered when I thank them for doing whatever service it is they’re doing. I can’t speak about others or how they were raised but it seems to me like things are in a sad state when folks seem legitimately confused upon being thanked. Is everyone just to busy to be grateful?

It’s very very easy to focus on the things going wrong in one’s life, blame others, blame your uncontrollable circumstances, and so on. But there’s so much to be thankful for when you think about it.

Of course there’s always going to be folks with worse or better circumstances than you, I’m not saying that if you have an issue it’s illegitimate or anything like that. Yeah there’s the standards, you folks reading this can be thankful for having internet access whether it’s at home with a roof over your head or a public space of somekind. That’s something to be thankful for at least.

Everyone’s got problems but it’s important to step outside of our limited scope of what we don’t have, what we want or need, and to take a glance at everything we do have.

Right now I’m honestly grateful for all of the bad times too, I can be thankful for those as well because of the lessons I’ve learned and all my good and bad experiences have helped to formulate me into the person I am today. And while I may not be exactly happy with that, I’m thankful that I have the opportunities and ability to change them if I choose to, and that I have the ability to choose. I’m thankful that I live in an area that while it has a long way to go on the scale of accepting others, is not actively trying to eliminate me in any number of ways.

I’m thankful for my health, because as poor as it is I am alive and sometimes that’s enough to be happy about.

So on the actual day of thanksgiving my mom and sister woke up early, cleaning and cooking, and they left me in my passed out state on my bed. I had hardly been able to sleep at all from sheer pre-feast excitement haha, and I’m thankful that they did let me sleep xD. At about noon my brother and his girlfriend arrived and we ate heartily!

My mother roasted the turkey, made stuffing and gravy and mashed potatoes, candied yams, greenbean casserole, and corn pudding. Every year her recipes vary a little bit as she doesn’t write things down and can’t remember what she did the year before haha, but this was decidedly the best year ever. My family and I do have a lot of issues, and often times it feels like we’re very disconnected, but this holiday was different.

My mother says that God gave us a miracle and gave us our family back haha. It really does feel like that though, there was a feeling in our house of fun and peace and love that I haven’t felt with all of us in well over a decade.

And so for the first time that I can remember, I can honestly, earnestly say that I am thankful for my family.


I don’t know what happened or how, but this is certainly becoming one of my most cherished memories.

How was your thanksgiving? Any miracles on your end? What are you thankful for?
Comment below!

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Motivation is a Bitch

Now, I’m sure to just about all of you this is anything but news, and to me it’s not news either it’s just one of those annoyances constantly tripping me up when I’m not paying attention. Much like the cat’s water bowl that they enjoy sliding into my path in the middle of the night, but I digress. What usually happens to me is that I’ll get a burst of “oh my god I need to do something yes let’s do something! Let’s get something done~!” And it’ll last a little while, I”ll journal every day for X days and then something happens and I’m kicked out of routine before it’s a real habit.

A good example is the exercise stuff I had going. I was walking just about every day, but then my sister moved in at the end of october with my niece (just turned 2 years old) and let’s just say things got a little hectic and a lot exhausting. Then November arrives and I started NaNoWriMo which decidedly was eating up my time and that was also going well until about the 4th when I got really sick alluva sudden and ended up in the ER and checked into the hospital up until Saturday night. That’s Saturday the 10th, I was in there for a whole week or so.

So here I am at home, itching to get stuff done again. Excuses excuses are easy to find, and mine tend to be pretty good when I want them to be, so good that they could be actual reasons as opposed to excuses. Let’s go back to the walking thing shall we? I’m back home now, I’m not sick and I could probably make a few walking rounds in the park or something. The fact of the matter is that while I mentally want to (to a degree) my whole body is sore, and still recovering from the medications being pumped into me while I was in the hospital. I’d say that’s a pretty good reason not to go out exercising wouldn’t you?  But I also think that maybe if I push myself I can get stronger up to par faster, but at the same time there’s the risk of just burning myself out by not giving myself time to rest so my ‘plan’ is to just let myself recoup until my next doctor appointment later this week and see what they say.

But see, I’ve still got this problem of wanting to do something. Most of my crafts are on hold due to the little one buzzing her way around the apartment all the time (I think my sister would kill me for even thinking of pulling out a carving knife in her presence, let alone a woodburning pen, or such), and I’ve got all this seeming motivation and nothing to do with it!

A lot of it has to do with the fact that there are little grabby hands (and paws) about so I’m apprehensive about pulling out the needles or yarn or blades or any of that and I do need one piece of equipment before I get some herbalism brewing. Once again because of the little grabby hands I’d rather pulverize my herbs in a mortar+pestle than chop them with a knife and I can’t quite afford that bit of kitchenware yet.

Of course the main complaint I have is that all my motivation comes at the most inconvenient times! Why couldn’t I be motivated before they arrived or so on and some such. It’s really just bothersome haha. So I’m left in the mean time until they can go back home trying to find things to do to feel accomplished without really making any messes or putting little extremities at risk.

Oh motivation, you fickle thing, come back when there’s some space on the kitchen table for me to work will ya?!

Categories: Craft, General | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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